QUICK HEALTH SCARE, QUICKER EROTICA

 Hello my little Functionistas! I hope you're doing well! I've had a rough day, though I should make it clear that has absolutely nothing to do with my vaccination a couple of days ago, which was absolutely fine.

I've been feeling a lot more tired than usual over the past week, something I've mentioned on a couple of recent posts. Well, today I slept pretty much all day after staying awake all night. I told one of the carers I was feeling spacey and she just jokes that she'd have some of whatever I'm taking. (She'd have to put a little time aside, I take about 18 tablets daily!)

When they woke me up for dinner I soon felt weird. Sweating profusely, blood rushing to the head, acutely aware of my hearing - I recognised the signs and, sure enough, my pulse was too weak to feel in my neck, another indicator of supra ventral tachycardia. As I've mentioned before, I have experienced this phenomenon six or seven times, so I know what I'm talking about. This time it didn't fully happen, I could feel my body fighting it and I never passed out. Previously my heartbeat has gotten as high as 277bpm, or hamster speed, but today by the time the nurse got here it was down to 97bpm.

I say by the time the nurse got here: I told a carer I needed my pulse checked and they went off to find the nurse manually rather than ringing the emergency bell. I don't want to be over dramatic, but if there's a problem with my heart it's probably best to deal with it sooner rather than later. I've had to go to hospital with this on multiple occasions; how bad would you feel watching me get driven off in an ambulance knowing you left me lying there with an irregular heartbeat for twenty minutes rather than ringing the bell? This time it was mild but until it clears you don't know how bad it's going to be - one episode a little over a year ago was bad enough that I signed the form acknowledging that they needed to shock my heart and that I could die as a result of that. It sorted itself just as the anaesthetist came to measure my throat; ten minutes later and I'd have been shocked, Chev Chelios style.

This could have been me this evening!

As it is, I'm fine, feeling much clearer headed, though a little now, unsurprisingly! I don't think the nurse realised how bad it could have got, so I'm going to speak to the care home manager in the morning. I don't like to make waves, but this could have been serioous!

As it is, I figured my near miss would make for an excellent prompt on r/dirtypenpals, a recent discovery that keeps on going. I currently have two very different role plays going; an incredibly dirty one with a down-on-her-luck slut who is letting me abuse her in all sorts of horrible ways for the chance to whore her mouth out at my bar, and a ludicrously chaste one with a girl who works as a princess at Disney World who was assigned to me after my bag was stolen from my hotel room. So far I've skipped the line for front row seats at Space Mountain and gotten a free pretzel and a soda, but haven't done any more than hold her hand. We're headed to Splash Mountain, I'm hoping after that we can go somewhere backstage so she can change outfits and I can dry off, and that'll lead to something? I've given her openings, believe me!I

Closer to what I was hoping for!

I haven't yet been able to post my own prompt, or rather I have tried twice but was turned down twice. The first time I was legit breaking the (arbitrary) rules of the group; I can't link to this blog because it's NSFW, despite warning it is such and the whole group being 18+ only! The second time seemed more like a moderator exercising his power; God forbid someone post something a little more creative than "Who wants me to cum on their face?"

That little gripe aside, DPP (as all the cool kids are calling it!) has been a lot of fun. There are some fantastically creative ideas out there, and it's fun to see what makes other people tick. There's also a few bits of unintended comedy; one post that just made me chuckle was "I Need A Tit Fuck From Kat Dennings." Does he really need a girl to write and say "Hi, I'm Kat Dennings, want to fuck my tits?" rather than just imagining her saying it? Well, I guess he does, and more power to him!

Another standout was a shy petite lesbian from the fire dimension looking to be dommed by her lively, muscular roommate in the ice dimension she's currently visiting as an exchange student. It's fascinating the stories people will come up with. I wasn't what that girl was after but I've written to about five other posts that have yet to get back to me. The great thing is that even if a girl doesn't get back to you it's fun to exercise your kink muscles and come up with a sexy new idea. And even though it's more personal than putting your face and profile on a dating app and getting ignored somehow it's also a lot more forgivable; maybe you were a little late replying and she's getting what she needs from someone else. Maybe she got too embarrassed, or maybe my first response was enough to get her pussy gushing. Maybe she'll take a view days to respond, like my bar whore friend, who received a very sexy spanking for making me wait!

It's also a very safe way of stepping out of your comfort zone, I've written responses to three posts that fall outside of my usual remit but we're well written and weirdly sexy, or in one case just weird. Maybe I'll uncover a new kink, or pick up a trick that I might want to use on someone else. No harm, no foul, right?

I should soon be able to try and post again, I'll let you know how that goes in my next post. Until then, take care, and if someone tells you their heart is beating at Benny Hill freak-out speed then maybe show a little hustle!

Peace

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