WINDOW SHOPPING: THOUGHTS INSPIRED BY THE CELL MATE CHASTITY DEVICE

I thought I'd share a discovery I made a couple of weeks ago that I've been thinking about on and off since. I know some of you were hoping for more "kink content" (shout out once more to the delectable Ms. Julie of Strict Julie Spanks!) and I think this qualifies. Don't expect much real world shenanigans, this will essentially be a summary of thoughts I had after a quick jerk-off session and my endorsement of an old porn video. This is the ride you signed up for, folks!

So like I said, it was a couple of weeks ago, and I was feeling a little rambunctious, and realised it had been a good long while since I had read any accounts of hessian clothing used to spice things up, and that I was rather in the mood for some. It's probably worth mentioning that the Wi-Fi at the care home I'm staying in absolutely sucks shit and won't really handle streaming video, so I've been looking at a lot of photos and reading a lot of stories and video descriptions. It feels very naughty, a feeling heightened by the knowledge that a nurse could come in at any time unannounced, to check on me or give me meds. It's a lot like when I was living with my parents after dropping out of university.

I googled "hessian punishment panties" and was rewarded with a couple of images of a long-haired lass posing enigmatically in exactly that, as well as a hessian sack top. I was intrigued!

In case you're wondering, the idea is that the outfit chafes and irritates the skin of the wearer, putting them in a state of constant mild discomfort. Such dress can also be unflattering and humiliating, though I think this particular photo is absolutely cracker!

She was modelling the outfit for an adult shopping site named Dotty After Midnight, and I spent a little while browsing the store as well as the sister site, The Dotty Diaper Company. I was delighted to find that this flaxen-haired beauty modelled virtually all of the diapers and outfits for the site! Her name is Little Lolicat, and you can see more of her on her Twitter page and YouTube channel. Here's another photo of her pouting away in some spreader pants for all you ABDL fans out there:

For the uninitiated, the bulky pants simply keep the wearer's legs splayed apart, preventing normal walking. The wearer will find it easier to crawl or, in this instance, simply sit down and sulk!

I probably do a deep dive of a new adult store such as this about three or four times a year. I never really have any interest in buying, especially now that I am bedridden, but I like having my finger on the pulse and imagining ways in which the various devices could be used.

In the spirit of candid honesty, which is kind of the point of the blog, I should say I have purchased and used only two adult items in my life, both in 2019. Although it hadn't been diagnosed, I was suffering from ankylosing-spondylitis, a genetic disorder that causes the bones in the spine to keep growing and fusing together. I also spent that year in and out of the hospital with bouts of lymphedema and cellulitis. I was getting around okay on a frame but the temporary accommodation the council had sourced for me didn't come with a shower, just a bath that I couldn't climb in and out of. I was largely independent, but I never left the house. I did all my shopping online and had carers coming in twice a day to wash my legs, apply a prescribed lotion, and apply or remove some custom-made suppressive stockings. At this point I was finding needing care to be a little embarrassing.

One effect of my disorder that I've never told anyone about is that it makes it difficult to masturbate. Put simply, my spine doesn't move enough to let me reach my dick. Things weren't that bad back then, but I was finding jerking off increasingly strenuous, so I decided to buy a couple of toys to help me out. One was this futuristic piece of shit:

Tell me you can't imagine Chewbacca sticking his dick in this thing! If reading that caused you to do a wookie impression then congratulations, we are the same!

I experimented with it for about five minutes. That's not me being euphamistic, that's literally how long I spent trying to get it to function properly. Every time I placed my hard cock inside this thing the mechanical pieces started shuddering, struggling to move. The top of the device was designed to come off for easy cleaning, but it was a tight fit, and that piece soon broke away. Not long after, the motor gave out, unable to navigate the moving parts around my hard dick. (Humblebrag!) I got a full refund and hid the thing away to be disposed of discretely at a later date, and it lies dormant in the bedroom of my temporary flat to this day! You can read more about how this thing was supposed to work and some problems others found with it on this Amazon page. I obviously didn't get on with it but there are a few glowing endorsements, so who knows!

I had much better results with the sleek O-Touch massager, shown here:

Oh, how I miss you! I'm sure we'll be reunited soon.

The toy offers a few different speed settings and patterns, as well as a heating element I've never really bothered with, and a thrust counter which soon broke, (humblebrag?) not that I ever paid it any attention. I can't find the exact model I bought on Amazon any more, but you can still buy it from Amazon here. There is also a smaller version of the same model. (HumbleBRAG!!!) I appreciated that it didn't look as vaginal as many other models, and looked innocent in my bed next to my tablet, or left charging connected to my laptop in the living room. On one memorable visit a carer picked the thing off the floor and handed it to me, saying "Your speaker's fallen off the bed!" If anyone ever did suspect what it was then they never said anything. It is probably also worth noting that it felt phenomenal.

Reading this back I feel like I should share a couple of details. Firstly: I have made exactly one other adult purchase in my life previously; a pack of three condoms I bought from a pub vending machine when I was 18, during my first couple of months at university. I never really expected to use them, but figured it best to keep them in my wallet just in case. My drinking buddies didn't know I was buying them but as I made my purchase a friend of a friend cheered "Yeeeeah, Tanks!" enthusiastically. I used one of them, on the last day of the year, having decided to stay home and pack up rather than buy expensive tickets to the end of year celebration. I put one on to see what it felt like, and jerked off into it. I threw the unused prophylactics away along with the soiled one, too embarrassed to take them back home with me.

The other thing I should mention is that whilst I didn't buy it as an adult toy, I have a metal-headed back-scratcher I use to get off with.

Like this, but with a black grip, and further extended! (HUMBLEBRAAAAGGGGGGGG!!!!!)

Obviously I can't grip with it, but it's better than nothing, and I can hardly glue a fleshlight to a stick and ring for a carer to pass it to me whenever the mood strikes! The situation probably doesn't bother me as much as it would most guys because 1) my last lengthy hospital stay was for three months and I only came once during that time, so desperate for relief I rubbed my boner through the bed sheet with the edge of my tablet computer, so this is an upgrade and 2) I know this will make me sound like a psychopath but I have never, ever, even once directly jerked off with only my hand touching my penis, skin-on-skin. I don't know why I have this mental block, and I mean mental both literally and as a pejorative; I know it's weird, and irrational, and if a guy in a movie said that you'd later find out that he also tortured small animals and kept a woman locked in a cage. (That said, comment or e-mail if you're a woman who wants me to lock her in a cage and we'll work something out.)

I can't tell you why I'm built that way; I'm not religious and don't oppose it morally or whatever. I don't think anything bad would happen, I 'm not completely insane. It just seems unpleasant, I guess? I do know that I first jerked myself off at a relatively old age, years after I started getting erections and wet dreams, long after I had friends joke about it and talk about wanking casually, like it was a thing we all did. (I was almost seventeen if you must know, nearly through with my first year of sixth form!) I kept my weirdly shameful secret to myself, and joined in with the banter.

NB: An example of the sort of banter I mean, included not because you need it but because it makes me laugh to myself whenever I think about it: It was fairly common to sit around playing cards; not for money or any real interest in winning but as an excuse to get together and shoot the shit. One day a bunch of us were sat around a table doing little more than making idle chit-chat. My buddy Bowser came over and made a grandiose announcement, never a good idea when addressing a gaggle of teenage boys. "I have in my pocket the world's greatest home entertainment system!" he said, sounding rather like a carnival barker. "Is it your hand?" I asked as he reached into his pocket to pull out a deck of cards. I'm chuckling to myself as I write this 17 years later.

I should also mention I started writing about the only occasion on which my self-imposed abstinence paid dividends for me, but that prompted me to share some further stories and so I decided to take what I had written and use it as the foundation for a further entry I'll post tomorrow.

So to summarise: I have a weird relationship with masturbation, finding it even more taboo, shameful and ritualistic than most salt-of-the-earth vanilla types. I think that's why I was so drawn to this high tech chastity device during my exploration of the Dotty sites:

If you sprayed it red and gold I could imagine Pepper Potts placing Tony Stark's iron rod in this thing!

This ergonomic little fella is the cleverly named Cell Mate, a high end chastity device, the lock on which is controlled remotely using a cell phone app rather than with a physical key. It is breathable and waterproof, designed for long term use. It is available in two sizes, the larger ring offering the wearer almost 4cm² extra wriggle room!

Once applied, the wearer can use a smartphone to set a timer. Once the timer is set, there is no way of forcing the lock. The battery can last up to a year, and unlocks automatically once the power drops to 15%. I like the look of it, it bears more resemblance to a posing pouch than most chastity devices, which often take the already ridiculously designed male appendage and leave it resembling something you might find stuck between the teeth of a great white shark. If caught wearing one you might even get away pretending it's some kind of prescribed medical apparatus; it definitely appears less kinky than some of the other make devices Dotty offers:

The first thing this reminded me of was cult British kids TV show Knightmare. "Ooh, nasty!"

The other thing the user can do with the Cell Mate is allow a third party to become Key Master. Once control is relinquished the wearer has no say in when the restraint is removed! As you can imagine, all sorts of sexy scenarios came to mind:

My most persistent fantasy involves the wearer being controlled by a keymaster long-distance. They would have no contact other than through text messaging and the app. Once a week, whenever she felt like it, the keymaster would open the lock and message the wearer to let him know he had a ten minute window of opportunity in which to cum, and then it had better be going back on. Stuck in a meeting at work? Better hope no-one misses you whilst you're in the bathroom making a quick hand shandy! Out driving? Best find somewhere to pull over for a quick five-finger shuffle! Wake up one morning and find you slept through your window of opportunity? Better luck next week, Chuckles! Should have had a louder ringer!

I also like the idea of the wearer having to call and plead with his captor every time he pulls a girl or just wants to jerk it. I think the idea appeals because I am so bad at admitting to my own desires, even to myself. I imagine a conversation going something like this:

 "Please may I take it off, mistress? I'm so horny right now. "

 "Again? You were just released two days ago."

 "I know mistress, I'm sorry mistress."

 "What brought this on?"

 "I was reading a book and it all got a bit saucy, mistress!"

 "Hmm. Well, I could let you out, but what are you going to do for me in return?"

One week extra for dragging your balls across my touchscreen!

 I also like the idea of a strict mother figure placing her ward in the Cell Mate; maybe to curb his masturbation habit, or maybe just to stop him landing himself in trouble when out playing the field. Imagine convincing a girl to come home with you and having to call Mommy to see if you can take things further. I imagine she would want to know more about your potential paramour and how exactly the two of you were hoping to use your unencumbered erection! She might even want to interrogate your partner over the phone!

Then again, it may be the girl's strict mother who puts you in chastity before you start dating her lovely daughter. Imagine taking her away to a fancy hotel a few weeks in to the dating process, with her mother's blessings. I imagine the daughter phoning her mother and asking for your release so she can finally know her suitor in the most intimate fashion. The conversation starts off well, but your chance of release dwindles as the girl starts pouting and putting on an attitude before having a full on tantrum over the phone when her request is denied!

Of course; we're not all lucky enough to have a top of the line cage and a kinky playmate to share it with, and we're stuck using our imaginations. There are plenty of videos to help encourage such naughty thoughts, so I thought I'd share an all-time favourite and evaluate why I can relate so hard.

The video in question is called Diapered in the Dorms can be found at the Pampered Penny clips4sale, and you should definitely do that rather than googling "Dorm Diaper Video" and seeing what comes up.

Penny and Maxine together in a different clip, not looking too happy!

I first discovered Pampered Penny, also known as Penny Barber and on rare occasion Penny Play, way back when she was predominantly a submissive, wearing and wetting diapers and occasionally forcing other young ladies to do the same. She definitely likes to switch it up and now the majority of her new diaper-based content is POV videos in which she portrays a "Dommy Mommy." She also produces a lot of (fantasy!) Mother/son videos and sissy training/humiliation POV stuff. Her attitude in these videos is usually slightly patronising and teasing, and she often has a little giggle at how much control she has over you or feigns shock at how naughty your behaviour or desires are. She'll often tell you what she wants you to do and then ask for your consent in a condescending tone, usually something like "Does my little boy wanna play dress up with Mommy? Yeah?" She has a very distinct and sexy way of lilting the word "yeah" so that it becomes less of a word and more a sympathetic acknowledgement of your shameful desires! At some point in her career she had her boobs done and now loves showing them off!

This particular video doesn't actually feature Penny, though her presence is certainly felt! The premise is that you have gone off to college and Penny has enlisted Maxine Holloway to take on the responsibility of diapering you and controlling your chastity. Maxine goes through the bag of accessories Penny has sent her and reads the rules and punishments she has in place. The video ends with a simulated diaper change. Looking at the video critically to figure out what about it appeals to me, either consciously or subconsciously, the following things leap out.

NO NUDITY OR SEXUAL ACTS - The video is very PG. At one point you get a good look at Maxine's skirt-clad bottom, and at some point her skirt hikes up to reveal some plain red panties, but there is nothing explicitly pornographic.

COLLEGE SETTING - I never really thought about it before, but there must be a correlation between my status as ultimate slacker and university drop out and my enjoying fantasizing about having my behaviour so strictly monitored by a heavily interested mother and a helpful older student. My college education started well; in my first year I was one of five students out of the 300 or so on the combined studies program to be awarded £10 for achieving the highest grades, a paltry sum considering how much we were paying in student loans to be on the program. A tenner was worth about a quarter of a textbook or maybe five drinks at the student bar. Things got really bad later on, though.  It occurred to me today that I must legitimately hold the record for longest doss-off in the history of formal education. It was awful at the time, but it's kind of a badge of honour now. I wear it with perverse pride, like the marks left after a hard spanking. You may be a drop-out, but I guarantee I dropped out worse and with more damage to every relationship in my life.

UNVEILING OF SHAME - Maxine goes through your diaper bag with great interest. She's never seen a pacifier gag or adult-sized Hello Kitty pyjamas. She's only just learnt what a chastity device is, and it sounds like you've been wearing one for a while!

EXPERIENCED OLDER GIRL - Despite only being a couple of years older Maxine sure seems to know a lot more than you about sex. She is familiar with the petroleum jelly she pulls out of your bag and it's the only item she doesn't comment on, she knows what THAT'S used for, and hides a kinky smile with her hand. She also commiserates when she learns you can only orgasm once a week - she's certainly cumming more often than that!

RITUALISTIC MASTURBATION - There's something weirdly cosy and wholesome about the idea of visiting Maxine every Sunday for an orgasm and a nice hot bath. Though not explicitly stated I have to imagine Maxine would be supervising the "squirt" to make sure you're not double-dipping. After all, she's already watching you "tinkle" each evening. She might even lend a hand,  as she's not shy about washing your "little parts." Maybe it's down to my own hang ups that letting someone else take control seems so intoxicating.

PLAYFULNESS - Maxine is warm and friendly and a little sympathetic as she talks you through the rules, and is kind yet forceful as she takes off your clothes and puts you in a diaper. At no point is she insulting but there's no hint of attraction. She's doing it for the money, and maybe a little bit out of pity. I can believe that and I can respect that.

DOMINEERING MOTHER FIGURE - Similar to the college setting, this was something I hadn't really put into words before, but it can't be a coincidence that my upbringing was kind of sterile and devoid of outward affection and now I masturbate watching videos like this. I know I was desperate to please my parents and was scared of disappointing them or seeming ungrateful, and the role you take on in the video fits square in line with that! The mother here doesn't offer you a choice regarding your chastity or diapering; she doesn't even inform you about what's happening, sending the rules and list of sanctioned punishments directly to Maxine. Then again, maybe you don't DESERVE a say in what happens to you, you bed-wetting little wanker!

Hoping to hear some hot takes and chastity fantasies in the comments!

Peace! ✌