WHAT HAS MADE ME HAPPY RECENTLY?

 I realise the last couple of posts have been kind of a downer, and so I wanted to share some things that picked me up during my long absence. Truth be told, I was intending on writing this yesterday, but ended up in a dead sleep for virtually the whole day (they woke me up for meals, I would wake up when my bladder needed emptying, otherwise I slept from 11pm Tuesday to 4.30am Thursday with little else to show for it. My sleep schedule here is erratic; sometimes I stay up all night with a catnap in the afternoon the following day; after too many of those the Sandman takes me off for an extended stay. Luckily, today happens to be Thanksgiving, so that was kind of fortuitous! Yay!

The main thing that motivated me and was the inspiration for picking this blog up again was a self-help book, that had a ton of good common sense advice with examples rooted in world history. It's called the Bible, motherfuckers, and you'll wish you'd read it too when Satan is jizzing hornets up your stretched out asshole with his veiny, three-headed cock.

WARNING: May cause dilation of the pupils, discoloration of the cheeks, mental illness including strong belief in fictional beings and irrational distrust of scientific fact.

Nah, not really! Can you imagine?! I'm ashamed to admit that I haven't really read much more than the regular blogs. And some very text heavy games, if that counts. Because I'm wearing a mask most of the time and lying pretty flat, it's hard to read a regular book or comic. Gaming is better if I've been repositioned on my bed correctly, but the warm embrace of television is there on tap twenty-four hours a day. Maybe that would be a good place to start off my recent recommendations with.

TV Shows

Getaway Driver: This eight part gameshow, hosted by Michelle Rodriguez and streaming on Discovery+, is such simple genius I imagine it was conceived of years ago and technology has only just made it possible, with drones and go-pro cameras making it possible to follow high speed action for little cost. The premise is simple: three drivers take their own cars to a 40 acre compound, and Michelle Rodriguez gives them each $2,000. If they can make it to one of two unmarked exits before being stopped by two expert drivers then they get to keep the cash. If their hot rod gets fucked, well, better luck next time! The two that do best then do it all again at night, with some roads closed off, three experts, and one exit. The fastest to make it out gets $5,000 and the chance to race again the next night, if they want to. It's high risk, low reward, but the racers are generally likeable characters in it for the bragging rights as much as the cheddar. If you don't give a fuck about swearing then I'd have thought it would be great family viewing over the holidays; who doesn't like car chases?

3%: I should probably preface this by saying I like pretty much any scripted TV show or film where players are trying to figure out how to beat a game! And by extension but with varied results how to break out of prison, pull off a con or a heist, cheat on a test etc. I really liked the Sony Escape Room movies the first time I saw them, and enjoy the Saw franchise way more than I should (and the spin-off, Spiral, with Chris Rock and Samuel L Jackson was a delight - a Saw movie with great actors effortlessly giving great over-the-top performances? Yes please!). I started watching Squid Game the day it came out,enjoyed it, but couldn't believe how it caught on!

In one of several "Shows to watch if you liked Squid Game" articles I read about a Brazillian show called 3% that fits that genre perfectly. Fortunately it's on Netflix. A story told over four seasons, it was set in a future where a city was on the verge of collapse as there wasn't enough resources to go around. A Process was established that anyone who turns 20 can apply for, and only the top 3% pass. These Elite people travel by submarine to The Offshore, which is a futuristic sci-fi paradise, with cures to disease, no money, advanced tech, plenty of food etc. The rest go back to The Inland, which is basically a slum. We start by following Process 105 in the first season, but just about every episode has a different game or challenge, whether it's part of the Process or an Inland gang initiation or whatever. Also, big ethical questions are raised, which are also my jam.

The Premise: I was excited to see this anthology show written by BJ Novak, as I really enjoyed his collection of short stories, "One More Thing: Stories and Other Stories," and loved hearing Busy Philips read his genre-defying children's book, "The Book Without Pictures." If you know a young child that isn't your own, I promise that book will make for an excellent Christmas present. Thank me later.

Anyhow, The Premise takes five high concept premises and spends half an hour playing them out in a very grounded world. A white social justice warrior realises a sex tape he made can exonerate a black man of aggravated assault of a police woman, the father of a girl killed in a school shooting gets a job as PR director for the National Gun Lobby, a pop star promises to fuck the valedictorian of a graduating class.

The reviews are mixed to tepid according to Wikipedia, and I'm not too surprised, as obviously your mileage will vary according to your personal philosophies and senses of humour, but I thought it was a very unique, thought-provoking show, with the finale, "Butt Plug," reaching God-level status, and will be included in my first list of such TV episodes. Catch it on Hulu or Disney streaming, depending on where you live.

A Very Solar Holiday Opposites Christmas Special: Also from Hulu, and also God-status eligible, Solar Opposites is a cartoon about five aliens stranded on Earth who do, well, pretty much whatever they want. It was created by Justin Roiland, co-creator (and voice of) Rick and Morty, and it is  basically what that show would be if Dan Harmon wasn't there using his incredible sense of story to reign Roiland in. Basically, the aliens have seen Ready Player One, and have stolen the idea of having a machine that places real people in movies, despite criticising it as a lazy gimmick. They choose to enter Jingle All The Way, taking Arnie's place despite never having seen the film all the way through.

Almost immediately they decided to bail when they realise it's not a particularly good movie, nor a very Christmassy one, but find their holiday spirit gone when they return to reality. Hijinx ensue, until they head back into the Jingle-verse, and discover decades have passed, forcing them to find a new ending. If you don't mind swearing, violence, fourth wall breaking and frank assessments of pop culture staples, this special is definitely worth a watch. 

Music

The Doubleclicks:  Teaching A Robot To Love (OCR): I don't listen to much new music, if any, but I'll always make time for The Doubleclicks because they are the best band in the world to be a fan of. They've just released the original cast recording of the musical they wrote, and I've really enjoyed it. It's about being robotic, being human, being non -binary, being anxious throwing a party, and being loved and in love. Check it out here or watch an animated music video here:

Games

Tell Me Why: Made from one of the companies behind the Life Is Strange Series, this is essentially a Life Is Strange game under a different name. If you enjoy games with a strong narrative element and choices that matter over action, this (and the Life Is Strange series) will be right up your alley. You play as separated twins, one a trans man, the other a cis woman, meeting after a decade apart to clean out their mother's old house. You play as a different twin in each scene, and try to remember the night their mother died, hassle her old friends for information, and decide where they're going to go next. The first third is free, the last two will cost you! Also, as you complete each of the three chapters you learn how many other players chose the same as you. Most are split roughly 50-50 or 80-20, but the last one was split 0-100... with me falling in the statistically irrelevant category!

Forza Horizon 5: Just a massive open world racing game that lets you race firm anywhere to anywhere! There is street racing, dirt racing, and everything in between, plus ridiculous PR stunts where you get caught on speed cameras or just launch your car as far as you can off a cliff. Incredible graphics and control, plus a handy rewind button if you burnout taking a corner too fast or get too cocky threading the needle between other cars. Tons of cars, all of which can be tinkered with, and you can copy other player's livery and tune ups if you'd rather be driving round Mexico looking for new roads and XP boards to smash rather than messing around in the garage. Bought it at a discount from the Icelandic Microsoft store, hoping to get Horizon 4, which is somehow equally or more expensive, in the Black Friday/Cyber Monday sales!

Toys

McFarlane Death Metal Batman and Batcycle:

My Batman came with a dope red guitar, not a scythe. I like to think he's listened to too much Iron Maiden.

NECA The Dark Knight Joker - McDonalds Variant:

He's lovin' it! I saw this as a goofy take on Heath Ledger's Joker, but my friend Snowball saw it as a dark Ronald McDonald! An interesting idea for a Psychology graduate thesis, no?

Friends and Family

This has been the big one. I've been trading e-mails with Snowball most days, several times a day. She's been a constant ray of light in my dark and lonely existence. I can't imagine where I'd be without her. If you run a blog that I've commented on and you've taken the time to reply, or if you're one of the living saints who has taken the time to write me an e-mail, you will probably never grasp how much that meant to me.

17 days. Peace! ✌